You're the poet in my heart..

All I ever wanted
Was to know that you were dreaming
There's a heartbeat
And it never really died

Today was an alright day, I guess.. I've been kind of miserable lately, and today just kind of brought me back to life a little. I spent the day with my mom, we dropped my car off with one of her friends, to get it inspected, then we came back to Skid's house and she asked me to check the mail.. When I did, I saw there was a letter from Albany, and it was one of those thick ones, so I knew I got accepted.. I opened it, and all I saw was "Congratulations!" and it made me feel a lot better about myself, and that my life is a lot more stable, now that I actually have somewhat of a plan for the future. Then we went to Bruce's Campgrounds to see Peg; she had recently moved back, and I hadn't seen her in two years.. It was nice spending time there, and the atmosphere is really cool.. When we first drove in, it didn't seem like that big of a deal, but the further back we went, you could see a bunch of trailers all grouped together, and they all had sitting areas, and like their own little community.. It reminded me of all the movies from the 60's and 70's, where hippies had a ton of communities where they just kind of secluded themselves from society, listened to music all day, smoked some weed, and drank some beer.. Just lived their lives, away from it all.. It always seemed like an appealing way to live to me, and I've always dreamed of kind of running away like that, though I would much rather prefer a community full of people around my age, rather than their 40's and 50's. I think it would be a lot of fun, and just seems like you would feel so free, living how you want, and never having to answer to anyone but yourself.. I think that if I lived in a place like that, I might start wearing kind of hippie styled clothing, and I would get a beautiful acoustic guitar, learn how to play, and just sit and write songs all day.. It seems like you would run out of things, not being able to see much, or do much.. But to me, that's when I'm most creative.. When I'm kind of secluded from the outside world, and can't thrive off of other people's ideas, and I'm kind of forced to create my own.. And, if you're writing about all the same things all the time, you eventually know how to find better ways to say what it is you're thinking of.. Like, how to be more metaphorical, and abstract, rather than literal and structured. I always just wish I could end the college shit, and run away like that, but I always knew if I did that, I wouldn't get anywhere in life.. Let's face it, I have no talent, and happiness really isn't everything.

And, I feel very cynical saying that because, I've always been the one to preach that happiness really is everything.. But, I guess the older you get, the more shit you go through, the more you start to realize happiness is just a lie.. It's just an illusion. Nothing is real, and feelings are feelings.. That's all happiness is, a delusional feeling that has no depth. It can come and go at any time, like any other feelings, but it's the one feeling that hurts the most, in the end...

Virginia

I went to Virginia over the weekend with my mom to meet my grandparents and to pick up the new car they got her.

This is what I saw when I first walked into the hotel. I thought it was amazing, but my Grandma acted very superior, and scoffed at my remark, saying "This place...?" with a disgusted look on her face. I kind of think the only reason she did that was because there was an employee near us, and she wanted her to think my Grandma was better than her; she was "above it all." She does that often, but I still maintain my opinion that the hotel was amazing.



We stayed at the Hilton Garden Inn, and they had the most amazing beds. There were knobs at the head of each side of the bed, and you could control the firmness of the bed, which I thought was really cool. The blankets were breathable, yet warm, and the bed and pillows were the softest things I have ever laid on.



There was also this really cool chair; the seat was made out of a stretchy elastic material, and the arms and everything were completely adjustable, to fit all kinds of people.



Spoticus in the bath. The shower head was amazing, though perhaps I only feel this way because there is no shower head at the apartment, so I'm just used to it coming out like a hose. It was like being under a waterfall, and it was very nice.



This is the car that was supposed to be mine, but my mom took it over. My grandma was pretty mad about the whole thing, but my grandpa told me they would get me a better one; one that had an electric adjustable seat so I could see over the hood, and that was up off the ground more, like the Chevy Tracker they got Chanda last year.


Here are some old pictures that I took a few months ago, but haven't been able to upload to my computer until now:



I was getting ready to give Greg a back massage with lotion, and saw a good opportunity to fuck with him.



No use crying over spilled milk ;)



I got bored in my math class, and since my "bunny jeans" ripped even more, I decided to draw a bunny's face.



Greg's room is a mess.. And it's beyond repair.



Years ago, Tanner on Lake George.



Sailboat, on the lake.

Boston

Over the weekend Greg and I went to Boston, with his mom. One of her friends, who she hadn't seen in years, was having a party to celebrate her marriage and her newborn baby. So, Greg's mom and her friend's mother arranged it so that we would go as a surprise, and since no one there had seen Greg since he was five, it was pretty exciting.

The party was really cool; they even had clowns that were doing face painting and balloon animals for free. While I was waiting in line, one of the clowns looked at me and was smiling, as she made a balloon animal, and then she just walked up to me and gave it to me; I didn't even have to ask or anything, it was pretty amazing.. She gave me a teddy bear balloon animal, which was cute because it reminded Greg and I of Spoticus. After we got our food, everyone at the table started playing with it, it was pretty funny.

It started when Greg and I made it look like he was drinking from this empty champagne bottle, then one of the ladies sitting at the table took a white rose out of the vase in the picture, and made the bear hold it, which was really cute.


The next day we went to the Boston Aquarium. It was a lot of fun, and the weird thing is, I had forgotten I had ever even been there, until I got there and started to recognize things and realized I had gone there the first time I met my aunt's friend Debbie. But, since I told Greg and his mom I had never been to Boston before, I didn't say anything. hahaha

The first thing we saw was penguins, and they were really cute.


I'm not sure what either of these fish are called, but they look pretty cool.

I loved watching the jellyfish move. I don't know why, but I just found it so amazing, they way they just kind of flow.

This was a really cool looking seahorse, that looked like it had leaves growing out of it. A lot of them just blended in with the plants, but this one was up against the glass so I could take a decent picture.

This is another seahorse I thought was pretty cool.

Starfish, in the same tank as the seahorse above.. They even had starfish you could touch! Some of them were squishy, and some of them were hard.. It was pretty sick.

It's Nemo! He lives in an anemone. :)

Shark! It was in this really cool tank that was in the center of the room, with a bunch of other fish and turtles. Apparently the sharks don't eat the other fish because they are so well fed; at the aquarium they are offered food twice a day, whereas in the wild, they are lucky if they eat twice a month.


I'm not sure what these are called, but they are really spikey, which makes them cool.

This is a cuttlefish, I think it was Greg's favorite.. His mom said she thought it looked like Davey Jones from Pirates of the Caribbean. hahaha

This was an electric eel. There were speakers that were hooked up above it, and everytime the eel sent out shocks, the speakers would make a sound, and there was a light that said whether the eel was locating its prey, killing it, or merely sending out a little wave.

This turtle was pretty photogenic.. He just sat there, eating sand. He was near a shark, and at one point he even kind of climbed on top of the shark, but the shark didn't even seem to mind.

Not sure what this is, Greg told me to take a picture of it. But I think it's cool how it blends into the sand.

Outside the aquarium.

This bridge that Greg and I really liked.

Boston was a lot of fun. I wish I could travel all the time..